COMMENTARY | I come from a family of debating diplomats, educators, executives and writers. When you get us all together over the holidays, debate is in the air. Politically we are mostly conservative Republicans with a handful of liberal Democrats thrown in to keep it interesting. We debate but don't yell and insult each other; at least not at the table.
The debates always start the same way. My two brothers will be discussing some corporate policy that one of their companies has enacted. This will lead them to discussing the current state of the economy and suddenly, in the middle of carving the turkey, my father will shake his head and say "I can't believe a man with you education thinks this way" and the debate is off.
Thanksgiving of 2008 was especially memorable. With my brother from California, Ted, at one end of the table talking about the great times ahead because the nation had elected a Democrat as president and the first black man to hold the office, my brother Mark from Illinois began talking about how bad things were going to get now that Obama was in office.
This debate was hotter than usual. Mark didn't care much for McCain but he was a supporter of Sarah Palin. Ted thought that she was a redneck hick and a joke. Things became heated when Ted started talking about Obama and his great tenure as an Illinois senator. Mark was furious. He pointed out that were it not for Chicago, Obama wouldn't have taken Illinois in the election, the double dealings and backroom politics that secured the Senate seat for him and how Obama was a horrible Senator who had missed more votes than he had made.
It was then that Ted asked me what I thought. I told him that I agreed with Mark. He sputtered that he couldn't believe how we thought. Then he did it. He broke the cardinal rule of all polite conversation: He declared that the only reason we didn't vote for Obama was because of his race. Yes, my dear brother called us all a bunch of racists over the Thanksgiving turkey.
The entire debate ended when I pointed out to Ted that we voted Republican. We always voted Republican. Not voting for Obama had nothing to do with race but with the party he represented. I informed my brother that it was illogical and insulting to claim that, despite all evidence to the contrary, we neglected to vote for the man based on race. We had reasons that had nothing to do with race. To ignore them was disingenuous at best. I also pointed out to him that it was he and people like him that kept bringing race into the issue.
We cleared the plates and ate pie, so full that further discussion and debate was not possible. I wonder what we will debate about over the Thanksgiving 2012 turkey.
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